mediocrity

This is an eventful week for me because I’m wrapping up classes for the semester. If you’re out there waiting to start (or just starting) your new semester, be extremely happy you are not at Harvard. The year starts later, and the semester doesn’t end until mid-late January. This means when students are away on winter break, Harvard students are also on break, but fretting over final papers and studying for exams. I cannot begin to voice my annoyance over the whole thing.

It is very easy to lose steam, especially for someone like me who loves to procrastinate. I am not going to say that I’m thrilled with myself this end of semester. I’m doing fine, I’m keeping a high GPA, but I’m being lazy and not putting in as much effort as I really feel I should. I did get feedback on one of my final papers.

As of right now it’s all done and pretty much locked in. All I have left is one more final paper, and I can close the book on this semester. I’ll be glad when it’s done. The new semester is around the corner, starting on the 29th. I’ll be taking one class on sustainable buildings, and one on environmental management. Not too shabby. I’m half way through my program, so I’ve started thinking about what comes next. What do I do once I get this master’s degree? My options are to look for work, or to get another degree. I know many folks are sold on the PhD track, but to be honest, I don’t want to be an academic all my life. I want to go out and get stuff done.

I have also been whining about not being an engineer, so I’ve been contemplating an MS in environmental engineering, or even an MEng, or something of that sort. Otherwise, there’s a great interdisciplinary program down the street at MIT where I could put all kinds of things together, or something along the lines of the MS in environmental engineering at Carnegie Mellon.

I’m going to have to put some effort into thinking which sounds more like something I’d like to do, because if engineering is it, then I have a lot of coursework to make up. This means maybe I won’t be taking Japanese this summer. Maybe I’ll be taking Chemistry or Physics or Linear Algebra or Differential Equations. I’m not sure. The thought of it all makes me want to cry since I feel a little lost on the whole thing. It’s funny, there was a time when everyone was shoving advice down my throat, and it made my desires very obvious. Now folks tell me that i’m great and will conquer… and I feel like I’m floundering.

I’ll put things together sooner or later, but right now I’m feeling that tear between hitting the sciences hard and wanting another language or something to play with. Those hard science classes aren’t going to give me anything to toy around with in my head because it’s all going to be annoying textbook parameters rather than fun real-world problems.

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