these are the days of our choppers

This is my brain most days of the week, and so often I want to say to people “Please, you don’t want to know what I’m thinking, don’t get me started!”  I have a good time pursuing ridiculous chains of thought that seem incredibly fun because of the absurdity, and every once in a while it results in a good story, or a good piece of insight.

A good example is the bicycle situation.

Mind you, you are going to think I am crazy, but I warned you.

I ride USB Devastation pretty much all the time because I’m convinced my civvie hates me.  (My civvie is a 1970s Raleigh Sprite) This is, in my mind, because my tire keeps blowing out, and the fenders scrape the wheels all the time. I am more concerned with hauling loot than speed.  I will never be racing material on a bike because I’m not about the speed. I’m about “faster than walking” and “covering insane distances by my own power.”  My civvie is grumpy because he’d rather have the zippiness.  We treat each other civilly, we both have an equal “wtf???” response when involuntarily hit by a car, we keep each other from falling, but it’s civil.  It’s not joy and bliss and happiness. The first week I rode him directly into a railing with a marvelous crash, and it’s been a touchy relationship ever since.

So I ride Devastation, which I’ve mentioned before. We have a good time.  We tool around the city no problem, and occasionally people whistle or say something about the bike.  The chop on the ship is not amazing, but it is a great cruiser mod that I absolutely adore.  Being a single geared bike, we are sort of locked into one range of speed that I modify depending on what part of the balls of my feet are on the pedals, and the bike responds beautifully, at least for me. The ship seems to enjoy being out and about, doesn’t mind me finding ways to tie stuff up to it, and generally hangs in there for me. I’ve trued the wheels, occasionally check it over for any issues, gave the ship a bell, and a headlight mount. Aside from scul missions, we’ve been over the Minuteman for at least 200 miles together. We get along.

When I see something stupid while out riding, if I’m by myself, I will mention it to the bike, and Devastation is a morbid joking sort who responds in kind. It’s great.

For a long time Devastation lived next to EZRaider, another ship with the same frame structure but a different fork, a monotube extension with a 20″ wheel in the front instead of Devastation’s standard 26″ cruiser wheel.  Being that they’re both pretty curvy black cruiser frames, and that they’re both USB ships (meaning Skunk built them), i think of them as siblings. As they are siblings, they have a very competitive nature and sort of preen at each other, and call each other out and call each other names. EZRaider insists that Devastation is not radical enough a chopper, and primps up over his super fancy braided spoke wheel.  Devastation, ever the practical but cynical utilitarian sneers that at least his tires aren’t flat and he gets to ride all over the city all the time. They’re brutal, and I always wished that they would chill out and be more understanding of each other whenever I led Devastation back to his parking spot.

Things changed a couple of weeks ago, and EZRaider was moved over next to some other bikes.  They’re different enough that I don’t see them as the close siblings that Devastation and EZRaider are. They shoot the breeze about general pleasantries, share battle stories, and comment on the weather.  This doesn’t mean that Devastation stables alone.  No.  Delirium is parked where EZRaider used to be.  Part of me thinks they are split up because the bickering was just too much, even for inanimate silent objects.

Delirium is also built from a curvy men’s cruiser frame, but brown and white with a longer more dramatic monotube extension.  The ship is all chopper, no screwing around. I think Devastation is more meek and quiet around Delirium, because Delirium is chill but hardcore. They haven’t quite hit their stride yet in terms of getting along, sort of like when 2 kids who don’t know each other that well get seated next to each other in class.  There’s nothing to directly encourage them to chit chat, and Devastation is somewhat in awe of Delirium’s coolness.

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